Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
