Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
