yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
