I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
