The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i wish my penis had a tongue
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
