I swear she didn't look like that last week.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
