you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
