it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
