Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
