I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
