Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
