what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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