I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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