i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
