I want to walk on stilts...naked
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
