why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
