forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
