I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
should my penis look like a turkey
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
