worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
