there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
