I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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