How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just pee around me
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
