a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
