Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
