Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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