that's what penises do
they tell lies.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
