ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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