dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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