I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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