when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
