It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
