i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
