Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
