well you can't waste a boner
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
