We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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