I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
