it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize