I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The Olympian is in my bed
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
