if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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