He had one of those small greek statue penises
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
