My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
