So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
