My brain says no but my pants say off.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
