Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
