I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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