i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
