Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
