I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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