I think I died a long time ago.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
