I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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