I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
