Where is the hickey?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Randomize
