Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he was CRYING into my vagina
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Panties = found
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