Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
