It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
