dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
