Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just invented taco cereal.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize