lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
