oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
