hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
