Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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