I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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