thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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