But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
