i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
