I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
