I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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