omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
