I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
