I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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