so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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